As everyone knows, I am in the process of writing a book. I am hoping that my book will be an inspiration to people who have ever had to deal with what life throws at them. Today, I am giving you a sneak peek of a few chapters. Please don’t hesitate to give me your opinion.
It’s amazing how fast time flies. Before you know it you’re twenty-two years old and wondering where your life is headed. Twenty-two is a young age, but a lot can happen in that small amount of time. Life happens…you fall in love, celebrate with family, grieve deaths, and continue living day by day. All the time you live, you never realize the lessons you learn from all your experiences whether they are good or bad. People choose their own paths and no matter where you are from, the lessons are the same. You can come from a poor family and end up poor yourself or you can take that experience to make a different future for yourself. There are people who are given everything on a silver spoon and end up criminals instead of using what they are given for good. No matter the person, the family, or the situation it is what you take from it and what you make of yourself. Nobody can make you successful…only you have the power to make a name for yourself. If obstacles are presented just get through them and keep going. Don’t make any obstacle the reason you stop fighting to make your dreams come true.
I walk into the house and see many of my family members dispersed in the living room. To the left, at the dining room table sits a police officer recording all of my mother’s medication into his notepad. There are so many. Bottles containing pills of all different sizes and colors. I had no idea how many different types one person could have. Looking at the vast amount of medication reminds me just how my mother is or was. A prescription drug addict. How could I have not seen that this was coming? I somehow knew that her addiction would catch up to her. But not this early. She is supposed to be alive. Now Rayah is going to grow up without a mother and it’s her fault. I told her over and over that she needs to stop this. Stop taking her pills. Stop buying them from her friends. Just stop, stop, stop this horrible habit! But no…that never happened.
My entire life was set around her addiction to something. Going to rehab when I was a child. Taking hard core drugs when I was a teenager. Then finally checking herself into the mental ward of the hospital. No matter what, she always went back and got worse than before. It’s as if she didn’t care what would happen to her children if this addiction went too far. My problems with her have only increased the guilt I have. I never wanted to see her or talk to her. Didn’t want anything to do with her while she was hooked. It was a strong resentment I had towards her…and nothing was fixed and never will be between us.
As I am going through the hope chest that contained my mother’s most precious possessions and memories, I came across a short letter addressed to me.
This letter said:
I just wanted you to know how special you are to me. God blessed me when he gave you to me. You are a special girl and you should know that. Please always remember that. Even when mom has problems she thinks of you. You can always make my day sunnier and bright. You are so smart and kind. Keep being you. You are so important in my life. Without you my life would not be complete. I love you so much. Thank you for being you, the wonderful person you are. I love you, Mom.
I immediately started to cry. It has really hit me that I treated her so horribly toward the end. We never had the chance to resolve the issues between each other.