Mother

By Danielle Olson

When I’m alone I often think of you my dear mother

How can I still have so much anger in my heart and yet miss you dearly at the same time?

I do wish I could talk to you one more time

Hear your voice

Tell you I love you

Is that something you can know after death?

I wish I told you more in life

Oh, how I wish I could have saved you

Wish I could have silenced your demons

Wish I had the patience

Wish I had the understanding of what weighed heavy on your mind

Could there have been something…anything to alter your thoughts?

Could I have changed things if I listened to your pain?

I feel guilty for all the things I truly wanted to say

For if I spoke my true mind you would never forgive me

My words would have made your life darker

I would have caused your mind to travel deeper into your oblivion