September 20th….

Since 2008, every year on September 20th I am completely numb to the world.  I walk around in a daze wondering what I could have done different.  What I could have done better.  People talk to me, but I am lost in thought and unable to clear my head of the memories I wish I could relive.  As every year passes, it becomes easier to deal with, but the pain never subsides.  Burying the pain is not an option, I can only confront it.

So what is the significance of this day you may wonder.  It is a day I lost someone dear to my heart.  Someone that taught me how to walk.  Someone that loved me with every inch of her soul.  A woman who watched me grow….

Gone are the eyes that watched me grow
The eyes that were able to see into my soul
Together we climbed mountains and made it through the pain
Only to find out that someday it would be forever changed

As you’ve gotten weaker, I’ve gotten stronger
Able to take care of myself even though I didn’t want to

You’d be proud of my wit, my confidence and my charm
People say I’m just like you and I know all about your charms
The eyes are in my heart, the eyes that saw my soul
But gone are the beautiful eyes, the eyes that watched me grow

Valarie M. Shea

It is on this day that I lost my dearest mother.  Words cannot describe how I felt that day four years ago, but it was like a piece of me died too.  We may not have been close as I got older, but she was still my mother and she loved me with all her heart…as I loved her.  I wish the issues between us had been resolved, but all I can do is believe she knows how much I love her.

Lisa Michelle Miller

11/9/1963 – 9/20/2008

You are truly missed by all who knew you! ❤

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